Tell Him Hell No
by madi-carstairs
Summary: Sadie and her fellow magicians get invited to the gods' celebration of the defeat of Apophis. Apparently, one god did not get the memo about her relationship with Anubis, and Sadie has to take matters into her own hands. Mainly Sanubis with minor Jalt and Zarter. Rated high T. Trigger warning for minor harassment.


**Author's Note: Hello again! I can't believe I wrote two Sanubis stories in a week. I don't know how people manage this!**

 **This story was inspired by a class I'm taking on Ancient Egyptian history. My previous class was on sexism in the ancient world.** **I immediately thought that Sadie Kane would not stand for any of this. Also, in research on Egyptian mythology, I came across the god Min, literally the god of male sexual potency, who I imagined would be rather sleazy. Thus, this oneshot was born.**

 **Pairings: Sanubis, minor Zarter and Jalt. No Walt/Anubis combo.**

 **Warning: Sexual innuendo and mentions of consensual sex. Possible trigger warning for minor harassment (the perpetrator gets his due). **

* * *

"Remind me again why I'm bothering to get dressed up?" Sadie asked, pulling her hair up in a tight ponytail and placing a gold cuff around the tie. She added a final matching cuff to join the piercings up her ear as she glanced towards Anubis sitting on her bed, her eyebrow raised.

"Yet again, it's the five-year anniversary of the battle with the snake, Lady Kane," Anubis said from her bed with a sigh, already looking smashing in his black tux. He ran his hands through his hair. "The Council of the gods wishes to honor the triumph and the mortals that helped."

"More like they want to brag about how great they are and get smashed," she grumbled, straightening up to look in the mirror. She could practically feel him rolling his eyes at her as she adjusted the strap of her one-shoulder dress. Sadie grabbed her eyeshadow palette and applied black shadow to her lids, smoking it out on the edges and adding a flash of gold in the inner corner. She swiped on nude lipstick, muttering a quick spell so it wouldn't fade, before stepping out of the closet and spreading out her hands. "How do I look?"

His eyes widened slightly as he took in her appearance, trailing his gaze down her long black gown, stopping briefly on her chest (which she knew looked _amazing_ in the dress) and the slit up her leg that started mid-thigh, revealing her heeled boots. He shook his head slightly and looked back up at her face as he got up from the bed, walking over to where she stood.

"You look stunning, my lady," he said, pressing a kiss to her lips as he placed his hands at her waist. She tangled her hand in his hair as she kissed back before breaking apart.

"Thanks, babe," she said, smirking up at him. "Now help zip me up; I can't reach the back."

She pulled her ponytail to the side as he pulled up the zipper, leaning down to press a lingering kiss to the back of her neck. She inhaled sharply and turned to face him again, gripping the lapels of his tux and pulling him closer.

"How much time do we have before we have to leave?" she whispered, her blue eyes darkening.

He tilted his head to the side, a smile ghosting his lips before it faded. "It's nearing high noon. We'll have to wait until we return."

"Fine." She let go of him with a sigh, but took his hand as he offered it. They made their way up the stairwell to the roof, walking over to where Carter and Zia were waiting when they arrived.

"Hey, Sadie," Carter said with a nod. "Anubis." Sadie was loathe to admit it, but her brother did look pharaonic in his black suit and grey tie. Over the past five years, he had gone from looking like a child professor to a normal twenty-year-old, getting several inches taller and gaining muscle due to his training. Beside him, Zia looked regal in a cream-colored dress, a gold circlet adorning her straightened shoulder-length hair.

"You look nice, Zia," Sadie said, leaning against the railing. "I'm guessing you don't want to go to this, either, though."

"Sadie, this is a huge honor," Carter said with a sigh.

Zia rolled her eyes. "Yes, we are some of the only mortals to ever celebrate with the gods." She leaned closer to Sadie before whispering, "But no, I don't, and your brother doesn't either. He was complaining this morning while we were getting dressed."

Sadie wrinkled her nose. "Okay, you know you're one of my best mates, but I never need to hear about you and my brother getting dressed together or any other aspect of your sex lives."

Zia opened her mouth to retort, only to be interrupted by Walt and Jaz bursting out of the door to the roof and hurrying towards the group. Walt wore a matching tux to Carter and Anubis—Sadie assumed that was the standard high-class male attire—but with a black bowtie instead of a tie. Jaz looked great (as always) in a pale pink cocktail dress and gold heels, her pale blonde hair in loose curls.

"Sorry, sorry; I was working on a potion and lost track of time," Jaz said, pushing her hair back behind her shoulders.

"It's fine," Carter said, looking at his watch. "Anubis, are the gods ready?"

"They should be," he replied, drawing a rectangle in the air with his hands. He pressed at the space in between to reveal a doorway of darkness. "After you."

Carter and Zia stepped through the portal first, Walt and Jaz right on their heels. Anubis glanced back at Sadie, holding out his arm. She took it with a sigh.

"Let's get this over with," she grumbled, stepping with him into the darkness.

* * *

After they arrived, they stood around Horus' throne in the room apparently made entirely of gold and crystal as he and Isis gave grand speeches praising the gods for their grand efforts in defeating Apophis, only throwing in a minor comment about the aid of the magicians. Then, they waved their hands, summoning urns of Egyptian wine and beer along with various traditional foods. Sadie had mouthed 'I told you so' to Anubis, who had rolled his eyes again before pecking her on the cheek and leaving to discuss 'matters of importance' with some of the other gods. The rest of the magicians had dispersed into the crowd, mingling with some of the immortals and ignoring the more inebriated deities.

Sadie had spoken to her parents and was in the middle of an awkward conversation with Set when Bast pulled her away to fawn over her, giving her a bone-crushing hug. After finally releasing her, Bast asked numerous questions about school, the Nome, and her general well-being, finally pulling her into another hug.

"My little kitten is all grown up," Bast purred as Sadie struggled to breathe. She finally let her go, her eyes dewy. "You turned into everything I'd hoped you could be. Now, if you would get away from that jackal..."

"Bast..." Sadie warned, placing her hand on her hip. "Remember the agreement." A few years back, Sadie had gotten tired of her boyfriend and her old protector constantly arguing, and had forced them to make up, or, at the very least, be somewhat amicable.

Bast rolled her eyes and smiled, revealing her sharp canines. "I'm joking. Mostly. I know he takes good care of you—good thing, or I would destroy him."

Sadie raised her eyebrow. "We both know I would get to him first."

"True. Really, I am proud of you, kitten," Bast said, her amber eyes twinkling. "Now, let me go say hello to my other kittens. I haven't heard from any of them in forever."

As she slipped away, Sadie looked at the crowd, searching for the rest of her friends. Carter was in deep conversation with Horus (probably about some pharaonic question), Zia was laughing with Nephthys, and Bast had gone over to where Walt and Jaz were standing in the corner, looking a little uncomfortable.

She finally saw Anubis talking to her father a little ways away, his back turned to her. She started towards him when she was interrupted by someone tapping her shoulder. She whirled around to see a young man who who looked perhaps a little older than her staring at her with flashing gold eyes. He had tanned skin, slicked back black hair, and a face that was unlined and objectively good-looking, like several of the gods. He wore a white suit over a golden button-up shirt with a blood-red bowtie. All in all, he looked like an older, Egyptian, slightly more regal version of the sleazy rich boys who used to sit by the curb of her old academy in England, catcalling the girls who walked by.

"Hey, doll," he said with a wink. "You're the Kane girl, correct? The former host of Isis?"

She glanced back at where Anubis was previously standing, only to see the space taken up by other gods. She turned back to face the new man with resignation, rolling her eyes.

"It's Sadie."

"I almost didn't recognize you; you were just a child when I saw you last," he said, trailing his eyes over her. "You've grown up nicely. I'd nearly forgotten how quickly mortals, ah, mature."

Sadie rolled her eyes again and crossed her arms over her chest, wishing she had brought her magic bag with her. "And you are?"

He laughed, flashing blindingly white teeth. "I'd be offended if you weren't so hot, princess. Min, god of...fertility, at your service."

Sadie raised an eyebrow, recalling a statue that she hid in the storage of the Brooklyn House after Carter had aptly decreed it too inappropriate for the younger initiates to see. "The one with the large, um..."

"Rod?" Min answered with a salacious grin. "I promise, the statues are all accurate."

"Charming," she said drily, turning away to look through the crowd for Anubis. She spotted him nearby, speaking to Thoth. "Nice to meet you, but I do need to leave..."

Apparently not picking up on her sarcasm or desire to get away, Min stepped back into her line of sight, flashing her a grin that was mostly a leer. "You're welcome to check if you don't believe me, sweetheart. I've never been with a mortal, especially not one as sexy as you."

Sadie narrowed her eyes, her hands twitching. "I'm taken, _sweetheart_. And don't you already have two wives?"

Min laughed again, his eyes flashing red in the light. "Silly girl. As long as the woman isn't married, it's not adultery." He stepped closer, making Sadie step back, scowling.

"How lovely," she said, clenching her fists. "As I'm said before, I'm taken, so that's a firm _no_ to that disgusting offer. So let's forget this bloody conversation ever happened, and I'll go find—"

"Anubis?" His laugh seemed grating, like nails on a chalkboard. "Trust me, baby, one night with me, and you'll forget all about that dog." Min took another step closer and reached out, running his hand down her back, resting it right above her ass, and Sadie had enough.

In a split second, he was on the ground, staring up at her in shock. Sadie stood above him, rubbing at the sharp pain in her knuckles. The festivities quieted around them. She could hear some of the gods whispering around her.

"Did you see—"

"Anubis' plaything _punched_ Min!"

"—disrespecting her superiors—"

Sadie ignored the whispers. "Try that again, and I'll _ha-di_ you so hard you'll be in the Duat for _centuries_ ," she spat out, seething.

Min shook of his shock and dissolved into a vortex of gold and red sparks and reappeared standing up, his face contorted in rage. "There—did you _see_? Did you _hear_? This mortal attacked and threatened me, a _god_ , completely unwarranted! That's a crime punishable by death!"

"Hurt her in any way, and you'll regret it," Anubis' voice rang out from behind her. She turned to see him pushing his way through the crowd to beside her, glaring at Min before turning to face her, his face full of concern. "Are you alright?" he whispered.

She nodded, breathing heavily. She turned around to see Carter, Zia, Jaz, and Walt gathering behind her, clutching at their fighting staffs. Carter nodded at her, gripping his amulet in his hand while he held his wand in the other.

"Perfect," Min sneered, jabbing a finger at them. "The young magicians and their guard dog came over to protect this common whore. How _beautiful_ —"

"That is enough," Isis' voice rang out from her spot near the throne, her rainbow-colored wings spread wide. "Sadie Kane is Osiris' daughter, my former host, and the sister of the pharaoh."

"We know your reputation, Min," Osiris said, his eyes dark. "This is on you."

Min laughed again, somehow even more grating than before. "This is my festival, as much as yours, and certainly more than some mortal's, no matter her connections. I demand justice—"

Anubis stepped in front of Sadie, the expression on his face cold as ice. Sadie felt the temperature drop rapidly and saw the room suddenly darken.

"Leave," he growled, fixing Min with his stare. The walls started to flicker with shadows. Min finally rolled his eyes and disappeared in a flash of gold and red, a sneer etched on his face.

"Aww, I thought you would finally grow up and kill him," Set complained from across the room, throwing his hands in the air.

"Shut up, father," Anubis said, his jaw clenched. The temperature of the room gradually went back up to normal and the room brightened once more.

"Go back to your festivities!" Isis proclaimed. Gradually, the music started up again, and the gods went back to their dancing, keeping a wide berth around Sadie and the magicians.

Sadie turned to face her friends, letting out a sigh of relief. "Thanks for backing me up."

"Sadie, are you okay? What happened?" Jaz asked, her eyes wide.

"Just a typical douche," Sadie replied, rolling her eyes. "Go back to dancing. I don't want to ruin your night."

"Are you kidding?" Walt said, crossing his arms. "Let's get out of here." Carter, Zia, and Jaz nodded in agreement.

Someone cleared their throat behind Sadie, and she turned, crossing her arms, to see her father and Isis standing in front of her.

"Sadie, I'm sorry," Osiris/Julius began with a sigh. "I don't know the details, but I apologize for what happened. I wish I could protect you from that, but you seem to do pretty well on your own, my dear."

"My apologies as well, on behalf of the rest of the Council," Isis said, her eyes dark. "You all are welcome to remain and rejoin in the festivities, if you wish."

"I think we'll be going, Lady Isis," Zia spoke up, eyes darting over to Sadie.

"Yes, I believe we've overstayed our welcome," Carter said, inclining his head respectfully towards her. "Thank you for the offer, though."

"Very well," Isis said, nodding back at him. "Anubis, I trust you will portal them back?"

"Of course," he said, bowing. Isis led them back over to the corner where they first entered, and Anubis once again pushed at the air in front of them to reveal a portal. They all stepped through, exiting on the roof of the Brooklyn House once more. It appeared to be late evening—the sky was starting to darken. Sadie was momentarily confused before she recalled that time passed differently in the Duat. She turned to see everyone staring back at her, equal expressions of discomfort on their faces.

"Sadie..." Jaz started, her brown eyes wide.

"I'm _fine_ ," Sadie said again, clenching her teeth. "I appreciate your concern, but don't worry about me anymore. Just get back inside."

Carter opened his mouth, only stopped when Zia placed her hand on his shoulder. She gave him a warning look before turning back to Sadie.

"Alright," Zia said. "Goodnight, then." She ushered everyone out the door before looking back at Sadie with a nod. Sadie nodded back, her eyes dark, as Zia closed the door behind her, leaving Sadie and Anubis alone on the roof.

Sadie waited until she could no longer hear their footsteps before turning to face Anubis, her arms crossed over her chest. He stared at the ground to the left of her, his jaw clenched and his hands in fists at his sides. Sadie rolled her eyes and walked up to him, pressing a tender kiss to his lips.

"I need to blow off some steam," she muttered, locking their lips together again before breaking off once more. "Is this okay?"

"I should be asking you that, my lady," he whispered, pulling back enough to look her in the eyes. "I know you don't want to talk about it anymore, but..."

"You're my boyfriend, babe, not some random pervert," she replied, putting a hand on her hip. "Of course this is okay with me."

"I should have been with you," he said, looking away from her once more.

"I don't need you to be protecting me all the time," she said, running one hand through his hair. "I can take care of myself, love."

Anubis let the corner of his mouth twitch up in a small grin. "I know. You throw a nice punch." He held out his hand, and she placed hers in his. He gently rubbed at the bruises forming on her knuckles, causing the pain to disappear and the bruises to fade.

"That son of a bitch had a very solid face," Sadie replied, taking her hand out of his. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. "Look, you supported me in front of the entire council. You terrified that tosser into leaving, which was incredibly hot, I might add. That's all I need." She leaned in to kiss him again.

"About blowing off steam," she whispered in his ear as she pulled away. He raised his eyebrow at her, placing his hands on her waist.

"Did you want to break things, or..."

"Make out?" Sadie shrugged. "The night's still young. How about we stay up here for a while, and I'll see if I still feel like making things explode."

"Whatever you need, Lady Kane," he whispered, leaning back in as the sky darkened around them.

* * *

 **There you have it! I'm already working on another Sanubis story (most likely rated M), so if you're interested, look out for that in the upcoming week.**

 **Love,** **Madi**


End file.
